I know I’ve been saying that “I’ve been working on my website, that’s why I’m never online”, The real reason I’ve been grinding on my website is because my stress levels are seriously increasing due to my Mom, Little brother and my Grandma. I’ve been trying to distract myself from the stress so much to the point that I ended up getting bad grades and possibly can’t get a job. I’m sorry if you’re reading this on a good day but I’ve just been so angry all this time and my old self is starting to come back out. My Little brother is in 6th grade and is still acting like he was just born. He still pees on himself, He gets angry at me and gets me in trouble for dancing, He had this weird time when he’d “do it” with boys in my bed and when he got caught he acts like nothing happened, He acts like he can do and say whatever the freak he wants and he keeps being a major hypocrite. Now I don’t know what I’m going to do about it but my brain is screaming suicide someone please help me. My body has now developed this thing where it twitches random parts every hour. I got made fun of because of it because for some reason people thought I was nutting my pants. I bet my mom’s gonna come over today to try to beat me for hugging my little brother to keep him calm. He tried to call the cops on me for hugging him to keep him calm. Even though he had full body movement control he told my mom “I couldn’t move he was keeping me on the stairs” so I bet if he did manage to call the cops I probably would’ve got shot once they got their if he told them that because I am black. I don’t know if my dad is informed on what happened yet but I bet if he were to get informed he’d probably beat me. I want to move out so bad but my dad won’t let me get a job and I’m just so tired. I don’t know what I’m going to do to myself or my family but I can’t take it anymore. I know exactly where my dads guns are and I know the pressure point of the locked door they’re behind. But I don’t know what I should do. Am I losing It??? Am I Considered Crazy??? Is This What A Mental Breakdown Feels Like??? Am I Really Planning On Killing Somebody??? Should I Get Help??? Do I Really Want To Continue Living A Life Like This??? Did I Really Want To Stab Them??? I know it seems like I’m just fine when I’m speaking to people online but the reason I may seem rude sometimes is because my brain doesn’t know fully how to speak to people. My brain is so full of just stressful memories that it’s unbelievable. My mom once thought I didn’t love here because I couldn’t remember EVEN 1 good time with her. My brain is just full of negativity and I don’t like it, which is why I’m probably gonna run away from home. My little brother just got home he’s already angering me. He just slammed like 4 doors for absolutely no reason. I have a busted lip and a head ache from yesterdays happening and now I just want to have a infinite slumber. I’m sorry for anybody that may or may not feel sad for me because I just find it messed up that no matter what I do normal,bad or good I still get in more trouble then my little brother who for the record only does bad things. The day before yesterday he started putting his hands on me for looking at his labtop screen like he doesn’t always looks at mines and when I don’t let him he also gets really angry. Yesterday I was dancing and humming and one place and he started acting like I was committing a crime towards him. I don’t know what he has in store today but I bet it’s something even dumber because I swear he keeps getting dumber and dumber everyday and when he gets physical for a long time it only takes one hit from me in order for me to get in more trouble. You see, y’all are lucky to have families like you do. In my family you can get a beating for almost anything (Retaliation, Not Being A Team Player, Eating Food They Don’t Approve You To Eat, Making Money Without A Job That They Know Of, Buying Stuff They Don’t Approve Of, Going Over To Peoples House That You’ve Known Since You Were A Child, Telling Them Their Wrong About Something). This list is only a fraction of what you can get a beating for in my family and that fraction is like 1/20 because my parents are different from most thinking that they do what every parent does. They literally tell the kids in the family “If you ask your little friends what would their parents do they would say the same thing and if they don’t then their lying” They act like they’ve met every parent in the world at the age 5 and they know what they’d do 24/7. The funny thing is that almost everyone says they have abusive parents until they hear what my parents do. People think we’re poor because of the things my parents continuously have me wearing, People think that my family is filled with idiots but it’s only my mom’s side that is, People think we’re weak because how my parents spoiled my little brother compared to the others. Now anyone in the world can beat my little brother in a fight because he’s a stick man that starts mad problem with people (mostly females though he claims he’s not gay) and then when they start doing stuff back he either starts crying or tries to get me to fight for him and when I try to the kid comes out scared to tell me “look man I just need him to stop spitting on me”,“look bruh I just need him to stop talking bad to my girl”,“Bro I just need him to stop inviting me to the bathroom”,“I just need him to stop putting his poop and pee near me cous’” ,“In order for me not to hurt him he needs to stop bullyin’ my girl yo”,“aye I just want him to stop bullyin’ my little bro man” and “hey bro I’m not doing anything but he keeps staring at me in class trying to find the right time to snitch on me so keep that boy on watch”. Those are actual situations I had to deal with because he told me to come to his bus stop to fight some kid. No fights ever happened because the kid always said that he started it and that they don’t want problems if he stops.Here’s 100$ Gift Card For Reading This 4908 1983 5839 2983 If it doesn’t work then that means someone spent it on something already I once told him “if you call me not your brother again I wont help you with bullies again” and I know that will get me a beating by my parents but at this point I done had so many in a month that I do not care anymore. My parents swear that i’m untrustworthy though I haven’t lied to them in like 3yrs and that’s really scary for me yet my parents don’t see the dedication they just see that past. Mom:“in 2018 you stole some bread and told us you didn’t know” now that time I actually DIDN’T steal the bread but according to my mom “I know what your lying face looks like because you do it so much”. One time I got a beating because they swore ON THEIR LIFE that I had stole some Cinabon and I of course did NOT until after this situation because it annoyed the shet outta me. They bought like 3 boxes of 24 mini Cinabon rolls and someone opened a side and started eating some. I didn’t do it but once my fatass mom came in she noticed it was opened immediately and she did that lying face thing again she chose me as the culprit… Why??? I have no idea it’s probably because I’m the only f’ing light skin in my whole family. She then got really close to my face and saw my “Beauty Mark” she rubbed it for some reason and beat tf outta me saying “YOU HAVE THE CINNAMON ON YOUR FACE STOP LYING TO MY FACE” then I attempted to show he it’s not cinnamon but I ended up scratching it off. Even though it was BLEEDING she still said “See! you couldn’t even cover up your own lie” and now if I were to point anything out that they did to me “Oh! you’re just playing victim” That’s their #1 excuse for every action they’ve performed. This really makes me feel like I was Adopted because I have no video of being born unlike my little brother,my older brother and my older sister. I have no ultrasound pictures except for them as well all I have is pictures from when I had a thick coat of hair on my head. Also I don’t think that they are related to me because the people who are FOR SURE related to them they treat with loyalty unlike me. My little brother keeps saying “YOU’RE ADOPTED I’M NOT EVEN RELATED TO YOU BECAUSE YOUR HALF WHITE” although neither one of my “parents” are white. I think they gave my little brother a secret piece of knowledge and he keeps accidentally blurting it out. My brain hurts again now and I still don’t know what to do. Please send me help I really need it and I think I need it fast. I don’t think I’d have been able to type this paragraph if I wasn’t in need of help.
I know I’ve been saying that “I’ve been working on my website, that’s why I’m never online”, The real reason I’ve been grinding on my website is because my stress levels are seriously increasing due to my Mom, Little brother and my Grandma. I’ve been trying to distract myself from the stress so much to the point that I ended up getting bad grades and possibly can’t get a job. I’m sorry if you’re reading this on a good day but I’ve just been so angry all this time and my old self is starting to come back out. My Little brother is in 6th grade and is still acting like he was just born. He still pees on himself, He gets angry at me and gets me in trouble for dancing, He had this weird time when he’d “do it” with boys in my bed and when he got caught he acts like nothing happened, He acts like he can do and say whatever the freak he wants and he keeps being a major hypocrite. Now I don’t know what I’m going to do about it but my brain is screaming suicide someone please help me. My body has now developed this thing where it twitches random parts every hour. I got made fun of because of it because for some reason people thought I was nutting my pants. I bet my mom’s gonna come over today to try to beat me for hugging my little brother to keep him calm. He tried to call the cops on me for hugging him to keep him calm. Even though he had full body movement control he told my mom “I couldn’t move he was keeping me on the stairs” so I bet if he did manage to call the cops I probably would’ve got shot once they got their if he told them that because I am black. I don’t know if my dad is informed on what happened yet but I bet if he were to get informed he’d probably beat me. I want to move out so bad but my dad won’t let me get a job and I’m just so tired. I don’t know what I’m going to do to myself or my family but I can’t take it anymore. I know exactly where my dads guns are and I know the pressure point of the locked door they’re behind. But I don’t know what I should do. Am I losing It??? Am I Considered Crazy??? Is This What A Mental Breakdown Feels Like??? Am I Really Planning On Killing Somebody??? Should I Get Help??? Do I Really Want To Continue Living A Life Like This??? Did I Really Want To Stab Them??? I know it seems like I’m just fine when I’m speaking to people online but the reason I may seem rude sometimes is because my brain doesn’t know fully how to speak to people. My brain is so full of just stressful memories that it’s unbelievable. My mom once thought I didn’t love here because I couldn’t remember EVEN 1 good time with her. My brain is just full of negativity and I don’t like it, which is why I’m probably gonna run away from home. My little brother just got home he’s already angering me. He just slammed like 4 doors for absolutely no reason. I have a busted lip and a head ache from yesterdays happening and now I just want to have a infinite slumber. I’m sorry for anybody that may or may not feel sad for me because I just find it messed up that no matter what I do normal,bad or good I still get in more trouble then my little brother who for the record only does bad things. The day before yesterday he started putting his hands on me for looking at his labtop screen like he doesn’t always looks at mines and when I don’t let him he also gets really angry. Yesterday I was dancing and humming and one place and he started acting like I was committing a crime towards him. I don’t know what he has in store today but I bet it’s something even dumber because I swear he keeps getting dumber and dumber everyday and when he gets physical for a long time it only takes one hit from me in order for me to get in more trouble. You see, y’all are lucky to have families like you do. In my family you can get a beating for almost anything (Retaliation, Not Being A Team Player, Eating Food They Don’t Approve You To Eat, Making Money Without A Job That They Know Of, Buying Stuff They Don’t Approve Of, Going Over To Peoples House That You’ve Known Since You Were A Child, Telling Them Their Wrong About Something). This list is only a fraction of what you can get a beating for in my family and that fraction is like 1/20 because my parents are different from most thinking that they do what every parent does. They literally tell the kids in the family “If you ask your little friends what would their parents do they would say the same thing and if they don’t then their lying” They act like they’ve met every parent in the world at the age 5 and they know what they’d do 24/7. The funny thing is that almost everyone says they have abusive parents until they hear what my parents do. People think we’re poor because of the things my parents continuously have me wearing, People think that my family is filled with idiots but it’s only my mom’s side that is, People think we’re weak because how my parents spoiled my little brother compared to the others. Now anyone in the world can beat my little brother in a fight because he’s a stick man that starts mad problem with people (mostly females though he claims he’s not gay) and then when they start doing stuff back he either starts crying or tries to get me to fight for him and when I try to the kid comes out scared to tell me “look man I just need him to stop spitting on me”,“look bruh I just need him to stop talking bad to my girl”,“Bro I just need him to stop inviting me to the bathroom”,“I just need him to stop putting his poop and pee near me cous’” ,“In order for me not to hurt him he needs to stop bullyin’ my girl yo”,“aye I just want him to stop bullyin’ my little bro man” and “hey bro I’m not doing anything but he keeps staring at me in class trying to find the right time to snitch on me so keep that boy on watch”. Those are actual situations I had to deal with because he told me to come to his bus stop to fight some kid. No fights ever happened because the kid always said that he started it and that they don’t want problems if he stops. I once told him “if you call me not your brother again I wont help you with bullies again” and I know that will get me a beating by my parents but at this point I done had so many in a month that I do not care anymore. My parents swear that i’m untrustworthy though I haven’t lied to them in like 3yrs and that’s really scary for me yet my parents don’t see the dedication they just see that past. Mom:“in 2018 you stole some bread and told us you didn’t know” now that time I actually DIDN’T steal the bread but according to my mom “I know what your lying face looks like because you do it so much”. One time I got a beating because they swore ON THEIR LIFE that I had stole some Cinabon and I of course did NOT until after this situation because it annoyed the shet outta me. They bought like 3 boxes of 24 mini Cinabon rolls and someone opened a side and started eating some. I didn’t do it but once my fatass mom came in she noticed it was opened immediately and she did that lying face thing again she chose me as the culprit… Why??? I have no idea it’s probably because I’m the only f’ing light skin in my whole family. She then got really close to my face and saw my “Beauty Mark” she rubbed it for some reason and beat tf outta me saying “YOU HAVE THE CINNAMON ON YOUR FACE STOP LYING TO MY FACE” then I attempted to show he it’s not cinnamon but I ended up scratching it off. Even though it was BLEEDING she still said “See! you couldn’t even cover up your own lie” and now if I were to point anything out that they did to me “Oh! you’re just playing victim” That’s their #1 excuse for every action they’ve performed. This really makes me feel like I was Adopted because I have no video of being born unlike my little brother,my older brother and my older sister. I have no ultrasound pictures except for them as well all I have is pictures from when I had a thick coat of hair on my head. Also I don’t think that they are related to me because the people who are FOR SURE related to them they treat with loyalty unlike me. My little brother keeps saying “YOU’RE ADOPTED I’M NOT EVEN RELATED TO YOU BECAUSE YOUR HALF WHITE” although neither one of my “parents” are white. I think they gave my little brother a secret piece of knowledge and he keeps accidentally blurting it out. My brain hurts again now and I still don’t know what to do. Please send me help I really need it and I think I need it fast. I don’t think I’d have been able to type this paragraph if I wasn’t in need of help.
3 Likes
If you read this and sent help I appreciate you and don’t be looking for the secret pls just read it carefully and u will find it
2 Likes
tell a teacher at school about your mental problems or tell a police officer, and why did you copy-paste some stuff about 3 times?
2 Likes
you will have to tell someone at school because your family may not trust you and since they aren’t good parents
2 Likes
I didnt copy and paste anything…
2 Likes
idk if that’d help because my teachers are weird asf
2 Likes
btw did u get the Vanilla Gift Card???
2 Likes
That was a nice read.
2 Likes
??? what u mean? is it cuz its like 3 paragraphs stuffed into like 8 sentences
2 Likes
Sry I don’t have a bank account
2 Likes
try telling a police officer or the principal
2 Likes
I read this text a few times, and I have emphasized its meaning. I truly find it sad how ones family can be so misguiding. Throughout the text I have felt empathy for you, because I too, had a brother. I have dealt with cases far worse than this one, but I felt this and the need to write this down. For the most part, If you truly believe you will have a better life out of that household, and if you are able to survive normally, if you are brave enough to get out there and leave that place you call home then you can achieve what you are looking for.
If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to open up and ask me anything.
P.S
I saw the gift card, but I won’t accept it as I do not need it and I believe someone else could use it for better.
3 Likes
bruh u dont need a bank account u just use the gift card
2 Likes
thank you!!! I appreciate the support
2 Likes